Emotional Agency: Taking Control of Your Emotional State

What if we had more input over how we feel? Emotional agency suggests we do. 

Emotional agency is the belief that we can influence our emotional states and responses. 

As a human development and growth tool, it can help us recognize that while external events can trigger emotions, we ultimately choose how we experience and express those feelings.

Understanding Emotional Agency

Emotional agency is rooted in the idea that we are not passive victims of our emotions. 

Instead, we are active participants in shaping our emotional experiences. 

This doesn't mean we can eliminate negative emotions; rather, we choose how we respond when we acknowledge and name how we feel.

Here are some critical aspects of emotional agency:

• Self-awareness

First, learning to recognize and understand your emotions as a part of developing emotional agency. Paying attention to your feelings, naming them, and trying to identify the underlying causes is a proactive place to begin.

• Choice

You have the choice to respond to different situations in different ways. Instead of reacting impulsively, you can consider taking a moment to consider your options and choose a response that aligns with your values and goals.

• Mindfulness

Having the aptitude to not react with impulse and to instead take a moment to consider how you want to respond can require mindfulness. Mindfulness as a practice can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings and can give you greater control over your emotional responses.

• Personal responsibility

Emotional agency requires taking responsibility for your emotional well-being. Part of this is the avoidance of blaming external factors for your feelings and instead focusing on the choices you can make (rather than using blame) to improve your emotional state.

The Benefits of Emotional Agency

Developing emotional agency can have numerous benefits for your overall well-being. Some of these benefits include:

• Improved relationships

Emotional agency can help you communicate more effectively with others and build stronger relationships. When you understand your own emotions and can express them in a healthy way, you are better equipped to navigate conflicts and misunderstandings.

• Increased resilience

Emotional agency can help you bounce back from setbacks and challenges. By understanding that you have control over your emotional responses, you can develop the resilience to cope with difficult situations.

• Greater happiness and fulfillment

When you have emotional agency, you are more likely to experience greater joy and fulfillment. Responding to situations can create a more positive and fulfilling emotional experience.

• Confidence

When you know you can handle your reactions to your emotions effectively, you can approach situations confidently. Life is full of difficult situations that sometimes come by surprise. Having the confidence in yourself to respond rather than react has much better results.

Developing Emotional Agency

If you're interested in developing emotional agency, here are some practical tips:

• Practice mindfulness 

Mindfulness meditation and other mindfulness techniques can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. For more information on mindfulness, check out this article from the Mindfulness Association.

• Challenge negative thinking patterns

Pay attention to negative thoughts and challenge them with evidence-based thinking. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a popular approach for addressing negative thinking patterns. You can learn more about CBT here. 

• Set healthy boundaries

Healthy boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being and avoid situations that trigger negative emotions. The Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health offers 4 Steps to Building Better Boundaries.

• Seek support

Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide valuable guidance and support in developing emotional agency.

Takeaways

Emotional agency is a powerful tool that can help you take control of your emotional state and improve your overall well-being.  By recognizing that you have the power to identify, acknowledge, and influence your emotions, you can create a more fulfilling life. 

If you're struggling with emotional regulation or want to learn more about emotional agency, consider contacting a therapist at The Maine Relationship Institute. We offer a free consultation, and our experienced therapist, Ben Borkan, can provide personalized guidance and support.

Disclaimer 

The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional therapeutic advice. The thoughts and views expressed here are not intended to diagnose or treat any mental health conditions. If you are experiencing mental health issues, please seek guidance from a qualified mental health professional in your area. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or counseling services. No professional relationship is created through your use of this website. Please consult with a licensed therapist or mental health provider for personalized treatment and guidance.